Where do you keep YOUR dentures?

evanescent ev·a·nes·cent (ěv'ə-něs'ənt) adj. Of short duration; passing away quickly.

I started substitute teaching last week. I was really lucky to get a job in a district that is planning on cutting hundreds of positions next year, so let's hold out hope that I'm spared from the jaws of Economic Crisis 2009.

The first week of subbing was rough. I hadn't taught in a while and didn't know what to do with the trouble makers. I basically had no control whatsoever.

Embarassing moment:

It was lunch time at a large high school, and I went on a mission to find the teacher's lounge. Armed with a map of the school, I made my way downstairs. Inside the double doors was a room with 2 sofas, a few coffee tables, round tables and chairs, a microwave, and computers. There was another teacher in there who nodded at me as I walked over to the couch.

I sat down on one of the sofas and began to spread out. I started to read the paper and eat my lunch. Students were filing in and out of the room, which I thought was odd for a staff room. "Wait a minute," I thought. "Where are all of the other teachers? There's only one lunch period here." I finished my sandwich and started looking around. Backpacks. Students. Computers. One teacher. Oh my god. I'm not in the staff room. I'm in this dude's CLASSROOM!

I packed up my stuff as quickly as I could and got the HELL out of there.

This week, though, was a lot better. I think I was made for elementary school teaching. they are absolutely hilarious!

Funny moment #1:

I was conducting a small group reading activity with 2nd graders. The book was about recycling.

"What do you know about recycling?" I asked.

"Reduce, recycle, and reuse!"

"Well, what kinds of things do you reuse at home?"

"Umm... hamburger boxes for my grandma's dentures!"

Funny moment #2:

I was walking down the hall when a 1st grader went running by.

"I'm really late today!" she said. She has no idea who I am.

"Oh, is that so? Why's that?"

"It's my mom's birthday," she whispered, "and we went shopping... but I'm just gonna tell 'em I went to the dentist!"