I updated my blog layout. I know it's not as cute as the last ones, but the traditional blogger templates are easier to work with and easier for people to read.

Sorry it's been a little while since my last post. I needed to muster up the energy to re-live Tuesday. Aunt D told me that she doesn't think I can top this story.

I accepted the call at 5:45 am. I was instructed to be at the school in a special education classroom at 8:00 am.

With traffic, heavy rain, and the usual morning madness, I arrived about 10 minutes late (so not good!). I felt okay, though, because the system noted that the students wouldn't arrive until 8:55. There were two buildings on the lot, and I wasn't sure which one to run to, but I picked one and went to the office.

When I got inside, I was told that I was in the wrong building.

"So I need to go to the other building?" I asked.

"No. You want to go to [anonymous school]."

"But I've been sent to this school by the system!" I said.

"Yeah. This happened last time. This teacher starts the day at the other school and ends the day here. You need to go to [anonymous school]. I'll call their secretary and let them know you're on your way. We should really get them to fix that in the system." The secretary gave me the address of the other school and I punched it into the GPS in the car. It was on the complete opposite end of the city!

After 30 more minutes of driving, I arrived at the correct school. The secretary asked a gentleman to show me where the room was, as it was a rather confusing building.

"But that's my room," he said. I was happy about this development, because most special ed classrooms have 3-5 'paraeducators', or people who are trained to assist special ed teachers in the room. I knew he was one of them, and had he would tell me about the day. Boy, was I wrong.

"I'm just finding out about a sub in my room now?!?" He angrily walked toward the classroom and I walked behind him, unable to catch up.

"I'm sorry I'm so late, but I was sent to the wrong school this morning." No response. Walking. Walking.

"My name's [anonymous]." No response again. This guy was completely, rudely ignoring my existence. I'm thinking to myself, "Are we gonna have a problem today, buddy? Huh? 'Cause... sorry about your luck... I'm definitely the teacher today, whether you like it or not." 

He unlocked the door, flew into the office and picked up the phone. As I'm standing in the same room, he yells into the receiver, "The sub just got here! Nobody told me there'd be a sub today! You know what today will be like, don't you?!? I don't have to take this. You tell them I'm having an emergency. I'm not doing this today." He hung up the phone and left. Just full-on left work. Really makes a girl feel welcome.

Luckily, the other paraeducator, "K", was extremely nice and helpful. He acknowledged that the other guy was a real jerk, but added that he acts like that all the time. "He must know something we don't, 'cause he sure gets away with a lot around here."

The administrators sent another guy to help out, so I felt okay about the whole thing. At least I didn't have to deal with "the jerk" all day.

"When do the students get here?" I asked.

"Oh, there's only one student," K said.

"Really? He has his own classroom? And three teachers?"

"Yeah. They didn't tell you about this class, did they? They really should have."

Now I'm getting nervous. We'll call today's student 'R'. R's car pulls up to the school. R opens the door, and proceeds to bolt into the street. Both paraeducators (grown men) busted out the doors to chase R and bring him into the school. My heart dropped into my stomach as I realized that R is about 5'11" and 300 pounds.

I survey the room. Holes in the walls. Locks on the doors. I'm really scared now. R could really, really hurt me. I'm in fight or flight mode as they get him into the room. The teacher notes say to "stress safety above all else, keeping at least an arm's length distance away." I kept about a ten yard distance as we went down to the gym to play basketball.

"There are three doors in the gym, and we all need to stand at one or he'll bolt," K told me. About three minutes in, R started barrelling toward me. I held out my hand in the "stop" fashion and said, "No! No! Stop! stopstopstopstopstop!" But R did not stop. In fact, I'm pretty sure he sped up. I jumped out of the way at the last minute, and R was tackled by the my handy dandy assistants.

He was led back into the gym, picked up a basketball, and hurled it at my head. As I told you earlier, I was in fight or flight mode, so my cat-like reflexes and heightened senses were able to spare me from certain head trauma. We decided that R was being unsafe and went back into the confines of R's room, which was an old walled-off stage. Sort of like a pen. Which is what the day felt like: being in a closed pen with a wild animal, like a big cat, or maybe a polar bear.

Being that R was angry, he started to hit the large table in the classroom. He picked up the table and began to tip all of the contents onto the floor in my general vicinity. Then he walked to another table and slammed it into the wall, over and over again, until the table had created large, long holes in the wall.

"Well, you're the teacher today... do you want to work with R and his flashcards?" K asked.

"Listen," I said. "the only thing I want to do today is keep R happy and keep myself safe. I just want to be safe. And I really feel unsafe. R could really, really hurt me," I said.

"Heck yes, he can, " K said. "He could really hurt me if he wanted to. There are several people on workman's comp right now."

I began to feel angry. I felt like the district put me in a dangerous situation. Not only could I have been injured (seriously), but also I was useless. There was no way I could have helped if R decided to hurt someone. I was more of a hindrance, if anything, because the PE's needed to worry about my safety.

So, R actually chilled out after a while. We played his favorite music video DVD most of the day, and he got picked up early. But my adrenaline was pumping all day, and I was exhausted. But I have to wonder: At what point is a student just "too much" for public school? His own classroom, a staff of three, and various building repairs no doubt cost a lot of money. I know that it's our civic responsibility to care for and educate everyone equally, and that it's illegal to do otherwise, but this was just nuts. At some point, something's gotta give.

Edit: I forgot to mention the diapers. This kid wore diapers. And at one point in the day, he came out of the bathroom ass-naked. Penis and all.